What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do vagina's smell?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
