Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
