well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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