Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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