i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
