turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
