A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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