Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
