You can't special order awesome
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
