ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
