dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
