seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
