We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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