her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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