so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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