If i could tip my vagina, i would.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
