you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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