Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
