apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
