just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
