did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
