just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
