Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
