he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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