you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
home. puking in laundry basket.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
