The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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