problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
