Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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