who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
