im so drunk with asians
where?
always
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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