Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
