Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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