It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
