the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
