You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I came so hard my ears popped.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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