does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
