paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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