it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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