She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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