There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
