I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
