Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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