this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just want nice things and good sex
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
