THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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