ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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