You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
