How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
