we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize