marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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