my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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