even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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